What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
