I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
