she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
