how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
