So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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