she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
birth control should be required to get into college
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
