apparently the secret to your success is patron
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
