Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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