Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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