I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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