guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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