fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
