Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
