he puts the penis in happiness.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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