can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
