how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
