I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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