I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
