Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
