I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
4 words: hood of his car
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
