Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
