Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
from now on my penis is your penis
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
