People in love make me want to vomit
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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