K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
