I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
