In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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