if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
