did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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