...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
