Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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