my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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