It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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