I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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