Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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