Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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