I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
