Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
