I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
