I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
