i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
