My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
