Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
