he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
