I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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