dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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