y did u give ur computer a hand job?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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