Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
