They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
