it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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