he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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